The Art of Being Human

Work hard and play harder has always been a good motto for me. Finding that balance? That's a whole different story.  This week there were three, yes three post it notes with lists on my computer. There was a list of things I needed to do for work, a list of notes for a book I'm writing on classroom management and a list of things I needed to do to keep my life running. That's not even the crazy part. The crazy part was how I acted when I inadvertently threw away a list. Let me just say that crazy is not a good look for me. I like my life. I like everything and everyone in it. Not everyone can say that and it's taken me fifty odd years and change to reach that point. The problem is that I have more life than time. It doesn't matter how much time I have I fill it up. Hence the sticky notes that litter my desk.  There was one big and very important thing missing from all the lists though....fun. I was so busy doing that I didn't have time for being. I for...

I've put this blog on hold in order to concentrate on writing a book on classroom management. Some days the writing goes really well. Then there are days when it completely sucks. When that happens I call a friend who is writing her dissertation and we go for a walk or coffee. She always seems to know where I'm stuck and how to help.  Yesterday when I left our coffee date to take another stab at writing about classroom rituals she said, "You might have better luck if you turn off your inner editor."  She was right, and it wasn't just my inner editor that needed to be turned off, it was my inner critic.   I've never been a fan of the self esteem movement. I'm more of a pull your self up by your boot strap kind of girl. Working hard feels good and gets results. If you want to feel good you have to do good.  I like doing good.  I like working hard and loosing myself in something productive. That doesn't happen when my inner critic is leaning over my ...

 " I want to be good. I try to be good. It don't come out good."   An anonymous third grade boy in my class journal.  I know just how he feels. This past week couldn't get any worse and then it did. Everything bad that could happen happened and I found myself seduced by the dark side, negativity at it's worse.  This morning I went to a regular meeting that I facilitate with my friend Bob. The topic of discussion was the bombing at the Boston Marathon. One of the suggested questions was, 'what does it mean to pray for your enemy?'  An older woman was the first to speak up, "Who is your enemy?"    Silence filled the room and  I mentally bristled, but thankfully kept my mouth shut for a change.  Then in the silence the flood gates opened and I understood what she was saying with such simple eloquence. I create enemies by the thoughts I hold about them. I create enemies when I harbor ill will and give myself permis...

Who could you be if you didn't think you knew who you were?  We think we know what our lives should be like or not like, who we are and how we should be and how others should be. We treat our opinions like gospel that we defend to the death and damn ourselves and each other to hell with the certainty of our ignorance.   Isn't it time we stopped? Isn't it time we stopped putting ourselves in a box?  For that matter, isn't it time we stopped putting God in a box? Isn't it time we started listening to our quiet inner wisdom of instead of looking outside ourselves for answers, validations, and reassurance of our worth.  Maybe that’s the problem. Our inner wisdom is quiet. The world is very loud.  What would we hear if we listened to the silence? We have to be willing to live beyond the limits we impose on ourselves in the name of religion, getting along, or being nice and be the person God intended us to be. To be anyth...

  Complaining is one of the most self destructive things we do to ourselves as human beings. It damages relationships, creates stress, and makes us miserable to be around.  The hallmark of people who are chronically negative is that they’re unhappy and it’s someone else’s fault.  They look around and point out everything that’s wrong with a smug sense of self righteousness. The problem for me is that I am susceptible to it. When I am around someone who is a complainer I find myself sinking into it all too easily and before I know it I’m as miserable as they are.  I don’t want to be miserable.  I want to be happy and enjoy my life as it is right now, so I've learned to minimize the time I spend with negative people. It’s my life and my choice. Caller ID helps. I've also learned to ask better questions.  People who complain all the time think things should be different than they are. They can’t see a way out or through the s...

Being around encouraging and supportive people liberates the spirit.  I know this because to my great pleasure they are entering my life more often every day. A neighbor, a new staff member, and a woman at church have all enriched my life beyond measure simply by being who they are, nothing less and nothing more.   My fiddle teacher embodies the characteristics they share. He is what they all are, positive, encouraging, supportive and generous. And I am better for it, a better teacher, a better woman, a better being.  My spirit seems to have taken flight on wings unfurled in the wind, free at last, safe to soar. How cool is that?  We need more  people like them, a lot more. I don’t know why we give negativity so much credit or so much power. We call it being honest, being realistic, being concerned  when it’s really an excuse to empty our negative thoughts into the world. Call it what you will.  Life is made of energy in one form or another...