I wrote a blog called Tiltling at Windmills that basically said, “Stop fighting battles that don’t need to be fought.” Some times I’m just along for the ride here and that was one of those times. I recognized the wisdom of what I wrote. I knew it was the right thing to do but there was a part of me that protested ever so slightly. I wanted to sputter “But, but, but, if I don’t do it, who will?” Raise your hand if you have ever had that thought flicker across your heart. Come on, get those hands up. Be honest.
The beliefs that I grew up with and have defined who I think I am up to now were being challenged by my inner guidance, which I mostly trust. I know that at my age I should trust it but I’m me and there are times when I get guidance and my reaction is “You want to me to do what?? Seriously! I don’t think so.” I know that it doesn’t make sense to argue with God but it’s honest and I decided a long time ago that if I was going to have a relationship with God I was just going to be me and be honest. I figured that God made me and God loved me and He would understand. But, I digress.
I started to call Bob who I can always count on to help me muddle through confusion but it was late and I get up early. I went to bed wrestling with the ideas as much out of curiosity as confusion. I may question my inner guidance but it always comes through for me. Early the next morning, just before I woke completely up I heard a voice say, “The world does not rest on your shoulders.” That voice,, which comes when I am still and quiet, has never failed to fill me with peace and serves me well. It was like a weight off my shoulders, no pun intended.
Here’s what I learned. I am not bigger than God. I don’t need to be. When I think it’s up to me to save the world, well, honestly it smacks of arrogance. That arrogance gets in the way of what needs to be done because it is attached to an outcome that I think is right, needed and or is the only answer. I know you know what I’m talking about. When I think the world rests on my shoulders I stop listening to the Voice of God and start listening to the voice of my own self that needs to be important in some way. You know, like saving the world.
My motives become as much or more about me than the service that I think I’m rendering and am not. Some times you gotta stop and question your motives, not the motives that you think you have but the deep, dark, secret motives that really drive you. It’s either love or fear, baby.
I believe that we are here to raise the level of humanity and that it begins, not with other people, finding fault and blaming them or fixing what we think is wrong. It begins with a loving heart that is not tainted by fear that we are not enough unless we are important in some way. There’s the truth of it. A whole lot do gooders don’t actually do much good because they aren’t serving others as much as they are serving themselves and on some level they know it. They might not like it but they know it. And the people they think they are helping certainly know it.
When you serve humanity with a pure heart you are unattached to outcomes. You do what needs to be done, guided by God and let Him take care of the rest. You are not bigger than God. The world does not rest on your shoulders. Be still and listen and know that the right thing is happening and all is well even when it seems not to be, especially then. Remember this and know it well, “The darkest hour is just before dawn.”