Complaining is one of the most self destructive things we do to ourselves as human beings. It damages relationships, creates stress, and makes us miserable to be around. The hallmark of people who are chronically negative is that they’re unhappy and it’s someone else’s fault. They look around and point out everything that’s wrong with a smug sense of self righteousness.
The problem for me is that I am susceptible to it. When I am around someone who is a complainer I find myself sinking into it all too easily and before I know it I’m as miserable as they are. I don’t want to be miserable. I want to be happy and enjoy my life as it is right now, so I've learned to minimize the time I spend with negative people. It’s my life and my choice. Caller ID helps. I've also learned to ask better questions.
People who complain all the time think things should be different than they are. They can’t see a way out or through the situation they’re in. They look at the situation they’re in and ask the same question over and over again, “What’s wrong with this?” That question is guaranteed to keep you stuck, stuck and miserable. There are better questions to ask.
Do yourself a favor the next time you are tempted to complain, don't. Take a minute and ask a different question. How can I make this work for me? What is the blessing in this that I don’t see? How important is this in the great scheme of things? In the story of my life is this a sentence, a paragraph, or a page? Is this worth my time? What don’t I know about this that I should? Is this something I can change or do I need to change my attitude about it? How do I want to look back at this and how I've handled it? And those are just for starters. You probably have a few you can add to the list. Be willing to see the situation differently and you will. It's either fear or love, baby.