A Year Later

       I was determined to get my garden into the ground this week while I'm off  for Spring Break.  I’ve got 6  4’x8’ foot raised beds and a 10’x 12’ space under my kitchen window.  With that in mind I got up bright and early and went to the garden shop to add to the things I ordered from a catalog. I spent an hour cleaning up the yard after a storm and pulling weeds. Suddenly thought of having to dig up the bed under my kitchen window was more than I wanted to do, so I called Revel.  He told me that he would come over and till it up for me later in the week and that I should just go hang out because the ground was too wet. I’m not sure how I went from to that to having the cab taken off my truck and hauling 3 loads of mulch but there you have it.  Shoveling wet mulch is hard work, a little piece of information Revel neglected to share when he pointed me in that direction.  After the first load I decided the only thing to do would be to load up on some music. I’ve always found Delbert McClinton to be a good work companion so when I pulled into my driveway I grabbed my iPod and hit shuffle and started shoveling. I was in a groove, diggin’ myself and lovin’ my life. And that is why when Revel pulled up to help me he found me in the back of my truck dancing on a pile of compost and flinging muck everywhere oblivious to the audience I was attracting.  It seems that some people think dancing on top of a pile of compost is a little odd. I don’t know why.

     Last year at this time I was having a very different experience.  I was drowning in a sea of negativity. It was not uncommon for a friend to call and without a howdy do or by your leave launch into a litany of complaints about her husband, her son, the people at church.  I had one friend, who if she wasn’t complaining, was mining my life for morsels of negativity to gnaw on. I couldn’t take it anymore and impulsively decided to go on a 90 Day No Negativity Challenge.  Challenge was the operative word.  I eventually did what most people do at various times in their lives, took an unflinching inventory of my life.  When I was done with my challenge I was left with a number of gifts of spirit that continue to bless my life.  Mainly it came down to this it’s either fear or love.  It’s a choice, who knew.

    In Anatomy of the Spirit Carolyn Myss writes, “All three traditions hold that releasing one’s spirit into the world through fear or negativity is a faithless act of choosing personal will over the will of heaven.”  She goes on to say that in the Judaism tradition fear that holds power over a human being is a false God.  If we were still in college this is where I would chime in with, “Whoa, heavy man.”    That would be reason enough to release negativity from my life. I do it because my life works better when I sit in love. Everything really does come down to a choice between love and fear.  It takes effort though, at least for me so I do everything I can to set a place for love in my life and keep my inner space free of negativity.  I have my ups and downs but I trust that continuing to remove negativity from my life will lead me to a better place. It probably won’t involve a blue eyed guitar playing cowboy from Montana but it’s a fun fantasy.  I know it will involve rivers, good food and laughter; lots of love, music and dancing… even on top of a truck load of compost.  Thank you for sharing this journey with me. 

                                                              Delbert McClinton