A wise woman told me that she valued her serenity more than anything else including relationships and causes. That seemed extreme to me when she said it but as I spend more and more time living in peace created by love I’m beginning to see her point. It’s a choice but not always a choice I want to make especially when it comes to relationships.
My mother raised me to be a good girl. If you are over a certain age you know what I mean. A good girl puts the needs of others first….often to the determent of her own wellbeing. Like many woman I value relationships and when someone is hurt or needs help I want to rush in and kiss it and make it better. Most of the time it is out of genuine compassion and concern, however, if I’m being honest there are times when I want to make it better for the sake of my own self. I’m uncomfortable with their anger and their barrage of negativity that they unleash onto the world makes me want to run screaming into the woods somewhere. That has gradually changed during the past year as I’ve focused on keeping my inner space free of negativity. Most of the people in my life value peace and have a healthy attitude about life regardless of the curve balls being thrown at them. There are one or two people on the edges of my life though who make me want to poke my eye out with a stick they’re so negative. And there’s no getting away from them.
This past week a woman with a well deserved reputation for being negative and abrasive called me for the first time in months. I listened to her familiar litany of complaints and sardonic observations and remembered why I hadn’t missed her. I managed to stay detached and ended the conversation with a rehearsed response I save for such occasions. I wish I could tell you that it was just that easy but I would be lying. The good girl gene kicked in and I felt resistance, fortunately it was short lived. I have reached the point in my life where I refuse to let events in other people’s life effect my emotional state. That’s the good thing about being a woman, I get to choose the company I keep and how I spend my time.
Maybe you’ve heard the story about a woman who is crossing a bridge when she hears someone call for help. “Help me, help me!” She peers over the side and sees a man at the bottom hollering help for all he’s worth. She offers to find him a rope and he tells her that a rope won’t work at all, “Too flimsy. You come on down here with me.” She realizes that she has a choice, she can go down and join him or she can continue on her journey. I’ve decided to continue on my journey. That hasn’t been a popular decision for some people and sometimes I feel a little guilty. What can I say? I’m a product of my times. Then I remember something my spiritual mother taught me. “If you do what’s right for you; you can trust it’s what’s right for everyone involved.” I believe that we are here to raise the level of humanity and the best way to do that is to be the Being God created us to be. You can’t do that swimming in a sea of negativity that people persist in creating. We have to make different choices. Love, anyone?