Don't Bring Me Down

One of the hallmarks of people who are negative is the mistaken belief that things have to be a certain way in order for them to be happy.  The waitress should have refilled their coffee sooner, that person in front of them shouldn’t be on their cell phone, their husband should have bought roses instead of carnations.  It’s as if they are living their lives according to a script that no one else has. And they’re quick to come to a conclusion about it all means. Who needs Dr. Phil when they have all the answers.  The waitress didn’t fill their coffee sooner because she doesn’t care about her customers.  The person on the cell phone is selfish. Their husband doesn’t think about what he’s doing.  It is a vicious cycle of unhappiness that contaminates everything around them. 

One of the ways I’ve been able to avoid that particular type of thinking is to care less about stuff that I either can’t do anything about or that just isn’t that important to begin with.   Caring less doesn’t mean I don’t care at all. It simply means that I’ve stopped taking a stand when it doesn’t matter. You’ve heard the expression, don’t sweat the small stuff, it’s all small stuff. The older I get the more I know just how true that is even when the small stuff begins to feel a little like Chinese water torture, drip, drip, drip. 

I took my truck in for an oil change and it needed a new oil pan and casket, ca ching. My neighbors came by to tell me I have a dead tree in my hard, ca ching, ca ching. I got my hearing tested and yes, big surprise; it’s time for hearing aides, ca ching, ca ching, ca ching.  I didn’t like having to do any of it and I really didn’t like having to pay for any of it but it wasn’t something that changed my inner peace and well being.   It helps tremendously that I don’t have people in my life who interpret those experiences through a negative filter. There’s no one to put a negative spin on any of those experiences leaving me to let them come and go.

Most of the things that happen are just things that happen. Any meaning they have is meaning that we give them.  It’s just as easy to attribute a positive meaning to a situation as it is a negative meaning. It’s a choice. We can make that choice with a knee jerk reaction that perpetuates fear or we can stop, breath and make a different choice that comes from self compassion and faith in a loving universe. It’s either fear or love, baby. What’s it gonna be?

                                             

               


Comments

Cathy said…
Very insightful observation for the week!
July 15, 2011 at 3:32 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Gift of the Ordinary

Image
    The greatest joys are in the small ordinary moments of our lives. It’s watching someone we love sleep, a cup of tea on a cold day, a thick mat when you step out of the shower. I’m finding that it takes courage to live in the fullness of these moments these days. Not because they don’t exist, but because we are bombarded with messages that tell us who we are and what we have is not enough. We are told in a hundred different ways that we don’t measure up, that the world is not safe, and something bad is just around the corner. It’s fear at its most insidious best. And I get it.  I get that we’re afraid, and I understand why. I’m not living under a rock. When I did my 90 Day No Negativity Challenge I learned one thing for sure, it’s either fear or love, baby. Fear is a soul sucking joy stealer that brings out the worst in people. We destroy our bodies and relationships, get into debt up to our eyeballs, and we test our poor children to death.  We finger poi...
Read more

Are You A Tootler?

Image
    Have I mentioned that I love my job? What other job lets you to literally touch the future? Where else do you get to read some  great books that you miss as a grown up? And let’s not forget recess, yeah, let’s hear it for recess. When was the last time you hit the playground? Eight year olds are fun to hang out with. My kids work hard and know how to have fun and they like my music! How cool is that? There are trade offs though.      You know the stocks the Puritans used? I’d bet you a dime and a smile that an eight year old came up with them.   Eight year olds have a very black and white sense of justice which translates into a whole lot of tattling.   They would sell their mother down the river and not blink an eye doing it.   I want to support their developing morality and be a model of that for them but mostly though I want the tattling to just stop ‘cause it is driving me bonkers! That’s the honest truth of it.     Now, ...
Read more

It's a Choice

Image
    Christmas is two days away.   The house is cleaned, decorated and the presents are wrapped. I’ve made brownies, six batches of Heath Bar Crisps, Potato chip cookies and I’m headed out the door to the farmer’s market to pick up the ingredients I need for   Christmas breakfast and Tim’s Ginger Cookies. You can never have too many cookies especially when you eat them with champagne for dinner.   I’m diggin’ myself and lovin’ my life. I am truly blessed.   I’ve always been blessed and deeply loved. It’s always been there even if I’ve haven’t been aware of it.  Keeping free of negativity helps me see the blessings that are in my life and there are more than I can count. Keeping free of negativity is a way of wiping mud from my eyes. It’s amazing how much goodness there is in the world when you can see clearly.      “Negativity is an addiction to the bleak shadow that lingers around every human form ... you can tra...
Read more