Sunday, August 24, 2014

3 D Cell Batteries and a Pair of Shoes Later

 Several chapters ago in a long life of stories I took forever and a heart ache to end a bad relationship, mainly because the sex was so good. When I did call it quits my friends were generous with their support and their advice. Number one on their list of things to do, other than stop dating drummers, was to love myself.  I thought it was an empty feel good platitude that didn’t really mean anything; mainly because I didn’t know what it meant.

I’m older now. It’s taken me that time and a few more stories to understand what it means to love your self.  It’s not what I thought. It doesn't involve 3 D cell batteries for one thing, although that may help keep you away from the odd drummer who comes calling. It also doesn't involve shoes, even though any woman worth her weight in mascara knows that you can’t go wrong with the right pair of shoes. No, loving yourself is different than self gratification, however that looks to you. Self love is one of the healthiest things we can do for ourselves and it begins, not with 3 D cell batteries or a pair of shoes. It begins in your mind and heart.

Loving yourself means that you are on your side, you think good thoughts about yourself and you do kind things.  You make choices that help you and empower your future self. You stop doing stupid crap that causes you to suffer because you care about you! And you stop looking at your life with critical eyes blinded by judgment and unreasonable expectations.  Because here’s the thing, we are all flawed, it’s part of the wilderness experience of being human. 

You cannot build a life of success on a litany of complaints and flaws.  We are all flawed. That’s a given. And we are also glorious.  That’s the part we forget, and that’s what loving yourself reminds you of. You are glorious, flaws and all. Isn't that how you feel about the people you love?  So, maybe just for today you can consider what it would mean to love yourself the same way you love others.

Maybe you are tolerating something you should walk away from,or there's that one thing you know you should be doing that you aren't.  Let today be the day you stop denying yourself what you most want because you don’t believe you deserve it. Let today be the day you do something that will give you a better story to tell.  Let today be the day that you are on your side.   It’s either fear or love, baby.


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