The Art of Being Human

     Mostly I don’t pay much mind to what people say. I know that I am a little bit odd for some folks and I for sure march to the beat of a different drummer. Well maybe not drummer, if you know what I mean, a different beat for sure.  I know that not everyone is going like me anymore than I’m going to like them.  I have long accepted the fact that there will always be someone that I am too something for, too loud, too outspoken, too something.  It’s all part of the human experience. From a very young age I believed that being the best me I could be was the right thing to do. I just always trusted that God made me and that there must be something right with that even when there were people who didn’t think so.  And there were plenty of people who didn’t.    They thought that I should be more like them. That’s the core it.  Plenty of people wanted me to be like them rather I actually was or not.  That just never felt very loving to...

     “Claire Lynch has a great song, “Jealousy, oh jealousy, what a devil you must be. With your chains around my heart…”    I’m dying to sing it, I don’t actually want to experience it though but experience it is just what I what got to do.       Recess is a nice part of the day for students and teachers. Melinda and I take our third graders outside after lunch and we joke that the world needs to give itself recess.  The sun is shining and everywhere you look children are laughing and playing during a pause in the day. Most of the time one of us is grading papers or talking to kids. A couple of weeks ago she was grading papers, a math test her students had taken just before lunch.  Did I say grading, chortle with glee is more like it.  Her students had nailed a very difficult test and she was literally jumping up and down with joy.      I was almost happy for her. I wanted to be happy fo...

    “You don’t understand it’s hard not to be jealous when everyone has what you want and need.”    A number of possible responses came to mind after a friend hurled that statement in my direction. But, like an old gal once said, “If it’s not a question it doesn’t need an answer.”    Instead of saying anything I listened and said nothing. I’m not her momma.   Besides, you and I both know that there are times when people just aren’t going to listen.    I’ve certainly been one of those people. When I was dating Steve, a.k.a Drummer #1, people tried to tell me in not so nice words that they thought I was the village idiot for staying involved with him. (They honestly had a point.)   One woman, after listening to me complain about him for the hundred and third time said, “Listen to yourself, all he does is hurt you, why are you doing this to yourself!”   Everyone I knew had something to say about the situation I kept myself in, eve...

  I must have missed the memo that said it was Celebrate Complaining Week. Every where I turned someone was complaining about something.   This week my women friends complained about what jerks men were, a guy friend complained about his wife’s cooking, a friend called to complain that her boss reprimanded her for her attitude. I heard complaints about the weather, traffic, the lack of rain.   One woman I know casually didn’t even say hello before she launched into a litany of complaints. When I mentioned that how much complaining I was hearing this week she told me that people needed to vent and that it was normal.   I don’t think complaining is normal, maybe I’m wrong but if complaining is normal than normal is highly overrated. Actually I think normal is highly overrated, but let’s not go there. The thing about complaining is that it does absolutely no good. It doesn’t even feel good. What it is does is feed the discontent that lurks below the surface.   Onc...

     Revel thinks I’m spoiled. “No matter where you go people help you and do things for you. I don’t get it.”    It’s true, people are mostly nice to me and I’m mostly nice to them. This is especially true on the river. People on the river are just nice. That’s why I like it there, well, one of the reasons anyway. There are other reasons but the people have a lot to do with it. But Revel is wrong, not everyone is nice to me. Hard to understand, I know, but, take Andy for example.    If Andy is at a jam where I am I can usually count on him being snotty at least once, if not down right mean.  At least I used to be able to count on it. Andy, who has been an annoying asshole for five years, is out of the blue and unexpectedly, being nice to me. He complimented me on a song I sang and loaned me his tuner. He almost smiled at me. Small things I know, but completely out of character with the Andy I've grown to know and tolerate. Then there’s ...

       I wrote a blog called Tiltling at Windmills that basically said, “Stop fighting battles that don’t need to be fought.”   Some times I’m just along for the ride here and that was one of those times. I recognized the wisdom of what I wrote. I knew it was the right thing to do but there was a part of me that protested ever so slightly. I wanted to sputter “But, but, but, if I don’t do it, who will?”   Raise your hand if you have ever had that thought flicker across your heart. Come on, get those hands up. Be honest.   The beliefs that I grew up with and have defined who I think I am up to now were being challenged by my inner guidance, which I mostly trust. I know that at my age I should trust it but I’m me and there are times when I get guidance and my reaction is “You want to me to do what?? Seriously! I don’t think so.”   I know that it doesn’t make sense to argue with God but it’s honest and I decided a long time ago that if I was going...

  Setting limits is one of the best things we can do for ourselves and each other. It is an act of love. Setting limits means saying, no. No is a complete sentence. Try that on for size. “No.”   But, I’m a woman and that means that sometimes I don’t say no when I should.   I say “No, because____”   I say, “Fine,” with an exasperated sigh.   I say all the things women say when they want to say no, when they should say no and don’t.   I’m pretty good at saying no. Sometimes I say it just to say and because it makes my students laugh.   “Can we go to recess?”   “NO!” “Can we sit on the rug?” “NO!” “Can we do math?” “NO!” “Can we do our homework?” “NO!”   A few minutes of this and we all laugh and then we go to the rug and out to recess and they do math.   Anything for a cheap laugh, it’s the secret to my success, that and a song for any occasion.       I don’t say no when I should some times because I’m tired, have ...