The Art of Being Human

    Last week a friend of mine committed suicide.   He was as good a guy as they come and I will miss him. I will miss his kindness and generosity. I will miss singing Hank Williams songs with him and seeing him smile across the circle.     I am grateful to know many men like him, good men, who are quiet, every day heroes. They do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do and expect nothing in return.   They’re the men who change a tire for a stranger, open doors for women, and make sure everyone in the circle gets a chance to shine.    They’re the men that chase down boats, show eager boaters the line at Five Falls and help because that’s who they are. They’re the guys who coach little league everything, cook pancakes for pancake suppers and build whatever needs built.     They don’t always get the credit they deserve and I know that too many of them suffer. They endure their sorrow alone and in silence with q...

      I have a friend who will never know how good he is for me. Whenever Revel shows up I get a little perk. He encourages my off brand sense of humor and creativity. In fact, not only does he encourage it, he usually has something interesting to contribute. He’s the reason I have a red kayak mailbox that stops traffic.   I’m getting ready to add a piece of art, something metal and circular that will go on the my fence behind a Japanese maple.   I’m leaning towards gears because I like their shapes but am keeping my eyes open. Revel suggested a line of Tibetan Prayer wheels below whatever ‘art’ I come up with.   See what I mean about a having something interesting to contribute?      I hadn’t realized that I needed a little burst of creativity until he came by.    Now, I have a skeleton coming out of my kayak mailbox with a broken paddle labeled property of River Styx Outdoor Center,   a skeleton sitting on a lawn chair w...

    “ There's a kind of a restless feeling and it catches you off guard ” Gordon Lightfoot .  I've been feeling like that this week, restless and ill at ease. River Daughter used to say,“Sometimes you just want to drive 90 miles an hour and do everything they tell you not to.”   She was 15 then and that pretty much sums it up.     Being disrespectful of that restless feeling and wanting to stomp it down will cause a grown woman to do all sorts of stupid ass things.   I know that because I’m a grown woman who’s done all sorts of stupid ass things.   And I don’t regret any of them for a minute, thank you very much, not even the drummers, and that’s saying something.        There are some women and not a few men who just can’t stand that itchy soul feeling that you get sometimes and before you know it they’re off on a reckless tear that will make someone cry for them.   They don’t give themselves time and space to l...

     Mostly I don’t pay much mind to what people say. I know that I am a little bit odd for some folks and I for sure march to the beat of a different drummer. Well maybe not drummer, if you know what I mean, a different beat for sure.  I know that not everyone is going like me anymore than I’m going to like them.  I have long accepted the fact that there will always be someone that I am too something for, too loud, too outspoken, too something.  It’s all part of the human experience. From a very young age I believed that being the best me I could be was the right thing to do. I just always trusted that God made me and that there must be something right with that even when there were people who didn’t think so.  And there were plenty of people who didn’t.    They thought that I should be more like them. That’s the core it.  Plenty of people wanted me to be like them rather I actually was or not.  That just never felt very loving to...

     “Claire Lynch has a great song, “Jealousy, oh jealousy, what a devil you must be. With your chains around my heart…”    I’m dying to sing it, I don’t actually want to experience it though but experience it is just what I what got to do.       Recess is a nice part of the day for students and teachers. Melinda and I take our third graders outside after lunch and we joke that the world needs to give itself recess.  The sun is shining and everywhere you look children are laughing and playing during a pause in the day. Most of the time one of us is grading papers or talking to kids. A couple of weeks ago she was grading papers, a math test her students had taken just before lunch.  Did I say grading, chortle with glee is more like it.  Her students had nailed a very difficult test and she was literally jumping up and down with joy.      I was almost happy for her. I wanted to be happy fo...

    “You don’t understand it’s hard not to be jealous when everyone has what you want and need.”    A number of possible responses came to mind after a friend hurled that statement in my direction. But, like an old gal once said, “If it’s not a question it doesn’t need an answer.”    Instead of saying anything I listened and said nothing. I’m not her momma.   Besides, you and I both know that there are times when people just aren’t going to listen.    I’ve certainly been one of those people. When I was dating Steve, a.k.a Drummer #1, people tried to tell me in not so nice words that they thought I was the village idiot for staying involved with him. (They honestly had a point.)   One woman, after listening to me complain about him for the hundred and third time said, “Listen to yourself, all he does is hurt you, why are you doing this to yourself!”   Everyone I knew had something to say about the situation I kept myself in, eve...

  I must have missed the memo that said it was Celebrate Complaining Week. Every where I turned someone was complaining about something.   This week my women friends complained about what jerks men were, a guy friend complained about his wife’s cooking, a friend called to complain that her boss reprimanded her for her attitude. I heard complaints about the weather, traffic, the lack of rain.   One woman I know casually didn’t even say hello before she launched into a litany of complaints. When I mentioned that how much complaining I was hearing this week she told me that people needed to vent and that it was normal.   I don’t think complaining is normal, maybe I’m wrong but if complaining is normal than normal is highly overrated. Actually I think normal is highly overrated, but let’s not go there. The thing about complaining is that it does absolutely no good. It doesn’t even feel good. What it is does is feed the discontent that lurks below the surface.   Onc...